On GLADIATOR

March 26th

On GLADIATOR

Five years later, Fred and Susan got married. Susan loved Gladiator, but she named him Gladiola, and pretended he was a girl. She also got a pug and named it Daisy, but Fred only had love for Glad.
Fred and Susan had four kids, which they named Iris, Orchid, Chrysanthemum, and L.A. Confidential.
Iris is a tall, willowy, pale, girl with a bob of brown hair, thick pink lips and an innocent look on her face.
Orchid is a teen that dresses like a punk vampire.
Chrys is way into sports, and always carries around with her a baseball glove and a basketball.
L.A.C. is a real nerd, with glasses and a portable laptop that he’s always carrying with him.
Together, they are the family Wallace, and they love taking their R.V. and their dogs and heading out to the great outdoors. They keep a big map of Ontario in their basement which Fred was given as a present at work, and whenever Fred and Susan get vacation time they get out the darts and start throwin’.
Once they get to the cottage they’ve rented in some part of Ontario, they let Glad out and he runs around the place, making it safe for fun. Iris yells out Glad’s name and laughs, Chrys throws him a ball, LAC tracks his progress with a computer program he invented, and Orchid draws a crazy artwork where day is night and Glad is a vampire hunter. Susan works in the garden and gets mad when Glad runs through her hard work, but she can’t stay mad at him for long. Fred smokes a pipe and takes in how great his life is ever since he got a dog. And Daisy rubs up against different family members, reminding them that it’s time to get the folds in his face cleaned out.
Eventually they have to leave the cottage they’ve rented so Fred and Susan can get back to work, and so that Iris, Orchid, Chrys and LAC can go back to school, and so Glad and Daisy can work on the internet startup they’ve started up. As they leave the cottage they all stare forlornly out of the back of their station wagon, except Fred, who has to keep his eyes on the road so they don’t get into an accident. Susan looks especially forlornly and the garden she planted. She always forgets they’re only renting. Fred sometimes wonders, are they only renting happiness, too? When Glad passes on, as will inevitably occur, will their teenage children rebel, and will Susan have an affair, and will Daisy get lost in the park, and will their family just get ripped apart?
Well, some dogs neve really die, and Fred had a feeling that Glad was one of them. Sure, he could collapse, physically, but Glad lived in all of the family members now, deep in their hearts, and that part of Glad would never die. Glad pushed his snout into the front seat and gave Fred’s face a big lick, and Fred laughed satisfactorily. Yup, it really was great to be Fred Wallace. He never got panic attacks at work anymore, and he was married to the hottest lady in the building! He had four beautiful kids with eccentric names, and a subscription to an informative newspaper. His life really had a happy ending.