On SNOW LEOPARD

January 16th
Only one miss.

On SNOW LEOPARD
La News Francaise 19th October 2007

THE SNOW LEOPARD
By Kyrgyz Antropov
Reviewed by Pierre LaPlace
Review translated from French by Oldovai Henderson

In each fledgling nation there comes a time when they realize they lack founding myths (Unless they already have a really good founding myth). For example, Canadian Paul Gross recently released the painfully earnest World War I film Passchaendale, and as bad as it is to watch for non-Canadians, for literate Canadians it must be an embarrassment.
So too is Kyrgyz Antropov’s new book of poetry, The Snow Leopard. Most of the poems contained in this ‘book’ are complicated analogies, where the nation of Kazakhstan is represented by a Snow Leopard and other countries are represented by other animals. The analogies are rarely effective, however, and often are glaringly transparent; for example, the poem ‘The Snow Leopard is birthed from the stomach of the Wild Bear’ and ‘The Snow Leopard is mocked in the Eagle by a native of the Lion in hit film’
Worse is the language of the poetry, which is repetitive, banal, excrutiating, inconsequential, and has little to do with the actual Kazakh character. Alarmingly, this illiterate tablet scratcher has been named Kazakhstan’s poet laureate, which leads me to believe he is the only one is this populous nation with access to a writing implement.

-

Dear La News Fancaise,

Thank you for your article on the book of poetry, “The Snow Leopard” by Kyrgyz Antropov that appeared in La News on October 19th. However, I found it very offensive and think that maybe you should go find all the existing copies of your newspaper that still exist and cut the article out of it because I found it very derogatory of the poetry that was described, and it made many Kazakhs upset.

Thank You
Kyrgyz Antropov

PS I have attached a new poem that I wrote that maybe you will publish in your newspaper.

The Snow Leopard by Kyrgyz Antropov.

A Snow Leopard crouches and waits

For the bushel badger* to trundle past.

It jumps out and catches him

With its snow teeth.

* The Bushel Badger represents Turkestan.

Thanks Again,
Kyrgyz.

-

La News Francaise 16th December 2007
Dear Mr. Antropov,

We regret to inform you we will not publish your poem, “The Snow Leopard”, as you requested. It is of poor quality and would not be at home on a dirty piece of toilet paper.

Apologies,

Pierre LaPlace, Ed.
La News Francaise

-

Dear La News Francaise:
How bout this one?

The Leopard of Snow

Rawrrrrarrrrawararaaarrrr flesh flies from a warthog* that the snow leopard eats rawwrraara

* the warthog is the kurds

Love,
Kyrgyz Antropov

-

La News Francaise, 3rd January 2008
Dear Mr. Antropov,
This has gone far enough. Your persistence depresses me. I am really going to snap here. Very angry.

Pierre LaPlace, ed.
La News Franciase

-

Dear La News Francaise,

I have just be selected Poet Laureate for all Central Asian Former Soviet Republics. This is good because I receive more money. I am sorry you are sad. Maybe you should look at life more positively, or more like a bunch of animals that represent countries. I won’t bother you again.

Kyrgyz.