On PENGUIN

March 12th


On PENGUIN

Some Penguin facts

1) Penguin is the second largest English-language publisher in the world, after Random House. Can you imagine a Penguin living in a house that changes randomly every day? That's so Random! Call Nickelodeon!

2) "We just said we were going to publish a few books on the side at random," is what the creator of Random house said in 1927. Now the side has become the main dish.

3) Penguin started publishing books in 1935. Its specialty was paperbacks, and not having cover art.

4) Penguin is famous for publishing Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence, a book which I did not enjoy.

5) One of the first books published by Penguin was A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

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6) The Penguin (the batman villain) first appeared in 1941.

7) The Penguin owns a night club called the Iceberg Lounge. That sounds like a fun place to hang out.

8) Apparently the Penguin has business connectons with Lex Luthor!!

9) The Penguin doesn't really have any powers. This wikipedia article isn't doing a good job at making the Penguin sound interesting.

10) Burgess Meredith as the Penguin appeared in the TV show The Monkees

11) In Batman Returns, the design for the Penguin is based on the German expressionist film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, which I saw in film class once and did enjoy, unlike the book Lady Chatterley's Lover.

12) Politicians compared to the Penguin in comedy: Dick Cheney, FDR, John McCain, and Al Gore.

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13) The largest penguin is the Emperor Penguin, and the smallest is the Little Blue Penguin.

14) SOME PREHISTORIC PENGUINS WERE AS TALL AS HUMANS!!!!!



Now that we know some facts about Penguins, we can start incorporating them into our everyday lives.

Need a butler? Hire a penguin! No one buttles like a penguin. Starts at $60/hr.

Penguins can officiate weddings for only $500 extra! 20% discount for having your wedding in our Antarctic Resort in Bracebridge by Santa's Village.

If you hire 3 or more penguins, 30% discount.

Penguin-sized tuxedo cost an extra $50 per.

Get your child to teach a Penguin to sing for only $700 for 10 sessions at our exclusive Antarctic resort, in Bracebridge, the premier town in Ontario for polar-themed resorts.

"If a penguin could fly,

would it die, would it die,

if a penguin could fly,

it would die...."

That's one verse from the song "Penguins" the hit album Moping About Penguins by Y.A. Yittle.

Other song titles:

"Penguins or Penguns?"

"I loved a penguin once, it died"

What if we all had guns that were pens? International Espionage experts, take note. No, not that pen! BOOM!

The penguins always win in the end. The penguins always win.

Penguin ninjas are more common than you might think.

Could you imagine eating penguins? Ugh, gross.

I wish those giant penguins from prehistory were still around, working in general stores and driving horses and buggies. That would teach the youth of today to respect their elders and keep their dicks in their pants.