On DIGITAL CAMERA

January 19th

On DIGITAL CAMERA
I have a sister-in-law who is a photographer named Tracey. Here are some exciting things about Tracey:

1) Tracey was the maid of honour at our wedding, and took almost as many pictures as, maybe more than, our photographer.
2) Tracey is often described as a ‘firecracker’. She has very little respect for law and order, and is a corrupting influence. This is why we like her. For example, one time I was sitting in the all-u-can-eat section of the skydome and she wasn’t and she made me sneak two hot dogs and a box of popcorn down to her. Our first attempt, where she came up the ramp to my level and pretended that I had her wallet, didn’t work, but the second time, where I just put the food in my backpack and walked down, did work. And she also had alcohol in her pop cup.
3) Tracey gave us a hermit crab for Christmas one year. I later accidentally murdered it, but that is a separate and heart-rending tale.
4) Krista keeps a messy room, but Tracey keeps a catastrophe. In her house where she lived in Ottawa, she would live in one room until it became too messy to exist in, and then move on and sleep in another room, like the aliens in the hit movie Independence Day.
5) Tracey recently bought a house with her long term boyfriend Lorne in Oakville on Cobbler’s Lane, in a neighbourhood where all the streets are named after medieval professions (Silversmith Way, Merchant’s Gate, etc.)
6) The first time I met Tracey she came to a party with Krista before we were going out and fell asleep on the couch within half an hour of arriving.
7) Tracey really likes making and eating funnel cakes. They are her new specialty, along with margaritas that she makes in her new Margaritaville margaritamaker.
8) Tracey has excellent photography skills. She has done my headshots and our Parker and Seville publicity shots. Check them out!
9) One time Tracey made hamburgers for our 11-person cast and crew when we were touring in Ottawa.
10) One time Tracey fell off a giant fiberglass bulldog and seriously hurt herself.
11) If you have a secret, don’t tell Tracey. She delights in blurting out incendiary facts in the middle of dinner table conversations.
12) Tracey likes meat. When Krista and Tracey were little, Krista would trade her meat to Tracey in return for her vegetables.
13) Tracey is an avid softball player. Pretty talented too, from what a gather. A real leader on the field. Steals pitchers from Boston Pizza off the field.
14) Krista and Tracey used to share a bed together and hated each other.
15) Tracey’s favourite photography subject is her and Lorne doing something mildly sexy.
16) The only ‘item’ on Tracey’s facebook page is called “Tracey wins beer drinking competition”
17) The name of one of Tracey’s best friends is Stacey.
18) Tracey is, at heart, a considerate, loving and awesome sister-in-law.