on GEORGE WASHINGTON

February 16th

On GEORGE WASHINGTON

George Washington in a woodchipper:

One day George Washington stayed in bed.

George Washington is on the one dollar bill (American)

George Washington Carver knew Booker T. Washington

As presidents go, George Washington is #1

The Latino version of George Washington is Jorge Wachavez

George Washington did cut down that cherry tree, and he did not lie about it, but I don’t know why.

When George Washington became president, he had one real tooth. That’s why they called it president: presi, latin for “only one left”, and dent, latin for “tooth”.

George Washington killed 3 zombies with a chainsaw that he acquired in his time travels.

George Washington is also the name of a serial rapist in Georgia.

George Washington had the same first name as the president of Britain at the time. At that time, though, they called him “King” George, for legal reasons.

Although George Washington never told a lie, thousands have been told about him.

George Washington kept a picture of his wife with him at all times.

If you look at Washington, D.C. from space, it is in the shape of George Washington’s head winking.

George Washington married his wife, even though he was in love with another girl, who was married to his friend.

George Washington invented baseball and didn’t tell anyone about it.

On Washington’s Birthday, George Washington travels around America leaving Freedom under the Liberty tree for little girls and boys.

George Washington, when he saw the Great Wall of China, yawned.

George Washington’s favourite command on the battlefield was, “Shoot them in the face!”

George Washington once ate a British flag for breakfast.

George Washington had a false nose, false teeth, and false brain.

George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were the same person. Proof: Lincoln is taller because Washington spent all his time from 1799 to 1809 growing.

If George Washingon was ever depressed, he sang opera.

George Washington hated going for groceries.

George Washington was famous for predicting future railroads.

If George Washington were alive and to make his famous crossing of the Delaware today, he’d die of old age.

George Washington never travelled to Washington State, but he knew about it, and was flattered.

Georgina Wishington was a famous Faerie Queen. (i.e. a gay)

George Washington’s residence, Mount Vernon, was named after his dog, Vernon.

If George Washington could see America today, he’d shrug.

George Washington never wore suspenders.

For a brief period, the British tried to convince American rebels that George Washington didn’t exist.

George Washington’s final words were a three day monologue ripped from the popular play “Whose Bodice is in my Darby?”

If you google “George Washington”, 59,800,000 ‘hits’ come up. So you see, he was popular.

Washington George was considered as an alternate name for George Washington when he was born.

George Washington liked to spread rumours about himself to see how long it took for the rumour to get back to him.

George Washington patronized many of Richmond, Virginia’s popular ‘spanking clubs’.

George Washington often challenged children to duels, jokingly.

There will never be another George Washington. Not like George Washington, anyway.