On LOVE LETTER

February 14th

On LOVE LETTER

This is the story of how Krista and I became boyfriend and girlfriend.
When I entered fourth year university, I had never really had a girlfriend before. There was a girl in Grade Nine who I was officially going out with, but we never went on any dates and I forgot to get her something for Valentine’s Day. In university I kissed two different girls, but one was clearly an experiment and the other broke up with me a few days later.
I had a pretty good idea how to get a girlfriend though, because I had a lot of experience watching my friends from kindergarten up to third year university. So in Dr. Graham’s 4th year seminar class on theatre and the meaning of the word theatre, I was sitting behind Krista MacIsaac, who I knew had a crush on me, writing her a note. The Note said, “Dear Krista MacIsaac: I like-like you. Do you want to go out with me?” And then I gave her three boxes which she could check (or ex): “Yes”, “No”, or “Maybe if _________________________”. I wanted to leave her a way to test my worth if that was necessary.
Anyway, I’m halfway through this epic note and Dr. Graham ends class early before I could pass it forward. Krista vamooses, and I’m left to figure out a plan B.
I go to lunch in the McMaster University Student Centre (MUSC), with some of my Drama Club pals, like Steve Pukin, possibly, and who should show up and do a crazy dance with her underwear but Krista MacIsaac, that girl I wanted to go out with. What a crazy broad. But shit! I still hadn’t finished writing that letter. I went to the bathroom and finished writing the letter in one of the stalls. I took a deep breath, and got ready to deliver my life changing note. Ah, but when I came out of that bathroom she was long gone. Maybe it was not ready to be.
Then I remember, oh yeah, I’d already made plans to get a ride with Krista that night, to the CD release concert for our friend Darren’s hot jazz combo, Hot Mustache. This day (September 14, 2002) was not over yet.
But by the time we were at the jazz concert, Krista was kinda getting on my nerves, and I was getting cold feet. This note thing wasn’t gonna happen, I didn’t even know if I liked her that much. I didn’t want to make a mistake picking my first real girlfriend. She was so outgoing and vivacious. What if she stole my laughs?
When she was driving me home in her blue neon, we were bickering about something inconsequencial, kind of joke fighting, you know? Something which led me to declare: ”Fine, then I’m not gonna talk anymore” She didn’t think I could do it, but I stayed silent the whole way home. And it was then, looking out the window at the dark city floating by, that I realized I still liked her, even though we were having the most annoying and immature conversation. We were both idiots together, and I liked that. We weren’t intimidated by each other and NOW WAS THE TIME TO DELIVER THE NOTE. I just knew that it was now or never, deliver that note or give up on chicks forever.
In my mind, it was going to go like this. I would silently give her the powerful note, cool as a cucumber. I would go into my house and she would drive home, she’d consider her options carefully and we’d have further discussion at a later date. What actually happened was that she turned towards me, I threw the note at her, ran out of the car, tripped on my way up my porch steps and fumbled with my keys for several minutes. I was surprised when she didn’t leave the driveway, and I thought maybe this wasn’t such a good move after all. I casually walked out and asked her what she was doing, and she yelled at me because she wasn’t done yet. I ran back in the house and watched her from the window as she put the note in my mailbox and went back to her car. I casually strolled out to my mailbox, and read the note.
She had picked maybe. Maybe, if the sun shines, pigs don’t fly, and this pen is blue. Luckily, that pen she was using was blue. I invited her into my house, and we planned the rest of our life together. No, seriously, we made out like bandits. No, seriously, we had an awkward conversation and I took her to a movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) the next day. And now we are married. It’s the best.