On HUMPBACK WHALE

February 20th
On HUMPBACK WHALE

Mr. Hendrickson bounded into the staff room, fresh off a fantastic Grade 11 Biology class. Today’s lesson had been all about the Hunchback Whale. How the Hunchback Whale used to be endangered, and had now graduated to the status of “Least Concern”, how the Hunchback Whale was related to the Blue Whale, and the Grey Whale, taking careful attention to avoid talking about the Sperm Whale, because he didn’t want to start a laughter riot. The Hunchback Whale wasn’t on the Grade 11 curriculum, but Mr. Hendrickson was ahead of schedule, and liked to add a few lessons of interest to every term, a couple of bonus topics that wouldn’t be on the test, but that the kids would clearly enjoy.
And enjoy they did! Looking around and seeing his class, hushed, hanging on his every word, ready for the next plot twist in the tale of the Hunchback Whale, that was what kept Mr. Hendrickson waking up each morning. The Hunchback Whales in the Indian Ocean don’t migrate like other Hunchback Whales – but why not? Because India gets in the way, of course! The children smile, and realize the answer was implicit in the question! Now we were having fun!
The other staff members in the staff lounge were not as perky as Mr. Hendrickson. There was Mr. Koslowski, the fat gym teacher, Ms. Rattigan, the clinically depressed French teacher, and Mr. Garrow, an English teacher who had recently been transferred from another school. Mr. Garrow’s wife was a university professor, and had just got a new job at the local university. Mr. Garrow, correctly assuming he could get a teaching job anywhere, had followed her. Mr. Garrow was a tall, thin man, in his late 30s, who looked like the sparkle in his eyes had gone out. He held his coffee mug tightly, and read the newspaper with a sense of detachment.
“Good morning, Mr. Garrow,” Mr. Hendrickson announced cheerfully, walking over to the coffee station.
“Good morning, Eddie,” Mr. Garrow replied civilly. “How was your class?”
Mr. Hendrickson’s eyes lit up more. “It was fantastic,” he said, “I did a lesson I cooked up on the Hunchback Whale.”
Mr. Garrow nodded while reading, and then looked up. “The what?”
“The Hunchback Whale,” Mr. Hendrickson continued, glad of the interest. “It’s not on the curriculum, but-“
“Did you say the Hunchback Whale?” Mr. Garrow asked, in disbelief. Mr. Hendrickson was surprised Mr. Garrow had never heard of the Hunchback whale. He gathered his thoughts, and prepared to give Mr. Garrow an encapsulated version of the lesson he’d just given his class.
“Don’t you mean the Humpback Whale?” Mr. Garrow asked. Mr. Koslowski and Ms. Rattigan were looking up from their sports section and romance novel, respectively, and paying attention.
Mr. Hendrickson paused. “The Humpback Whale?” he said, “That doesn’t sound right. It’s the Hunchback Whale.”
Mr. Garrow smiled sardonically. “No, I’m pretty sure it’s the Humpback whale,” he said.
“I just lectured on the Hunchback Whale for seventy minutes, Mr. Garrow,” said Mr Hendrickson, “I know what it’s called.”
“And it’s called the HUMP,” Mr. Garrow enunciated, “BACK WHALE”