Sunday, March 1, 2009

On SNOWMAN

January 29th

On SNOWMAN
Profile: Mr. Snow
HANGMAN PROJECT: You are the seventh Mr. Man in Roger Hargreaves’ Mr. Men series.
MR. SNOW: That’s right.
HP: All the other Mr. Men are named after a character attribute, like Mr. Messy or Mr. Strong. Not you. Why is that?
SNOW: Well, I was an ordinary snowman, and then Father Christmas made me come alive. So maybe the point of each of the books is to teach the kids a lesson, like not to be nosy, for example. The moral of my story is that be careful when you are making a snowman.
HP: Why is that?
SNOW: Because Father Christmas might make them into a real man!
HP: How does this moral apply to children’s lives?
SNOW: Well, it fucken happened with me, so…
HP: But does this lesson have a wider application?
SNOW: Well, to a certain extent it teaches children to put a full effort into everything they do, because even if it doesn’t seem important at the time, maybe it will be at some point in the future.
HP: You wear a bowler hat and scarf. Thoughts?
SNOW: Well, I was dressed by some English kids. They were pretty nice to give me a hat. I kind of like it.
HP: How much contact do you have with the other Mr. Men?
SNOW: I had lunch with Mr. Messy the other day.
HP: How is he doing?
SNOW: Bad. Mr. Neat and Mr. Tidy tidied and neatened him so much he doesn’t know who he is anymore. He’s undergoing a real identity crisis, and drinking a lot.
HP: Do you feel as if Mr. Christmas is horning in on your territory?
SNOW: Yes, definitely. I used to help Father Christmas deliver the presents, and now his stupid nephew is helping him. Personally I think Father Christmas would rather have a man made out of snow help him, but he feels an obligation because Mr. Christmas is family. Thanks to nepotism, I’m out of a job.
HP: Have you tried looking for other work?
SNOW: I gave acting a shot, but I started to melt under the lights. Plus, I was typecast.
HP: As a snowman?
SNOW: Yes. My agent got me this audition for a western once, but I think it was some kind of mistake. There was no way I was gonna get cast in that film. I gotta fire my agent.
HP: What are your plans for the future?
SNOW: Well, I’m between projects right now. A lot of people in my situation would say, hey, I wish Father Christmas had never magically created me and then fired my ass. But that’s not my philosophy. I got a few things on the go, you know, and I think about a year from now you’re going to be hearing my name a lot more often. It’s like I always say: in anything you do, always try your best and do a good job. You never know how things are gonna end up.

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