March 21
On CUTE AS A BUTTON
Chet stared at the tiny button on Marianne’s top and figeted with his club sandwich. She was much more mature than he remembered, and had really gotten it together, fashion wise.
“So you don’t want to get back together?” he asked Marianne.
“Aw, Chet, you’re so cute!” she said in an annoying voice, and made a few noises like she was playing the trumpet to try and lighten the mood. They were at their local Kelsey’s on Labour Day, catching up on the summer happenings. Chet hadn’t told her about Sherry, the girl he had kissed once while working at Disney World during the summer. She had ended up leaving him for a guy from the Italian Pavillion anyway, so that was all ancient history. Chet’s plan was to come home, go on this lunch date with Marianne, get back together so they would be boyfriend and girlfriend, and then proceed with their final academic year of high school. This plan was not working. In fact, it looked like Marianne was intentionally making Chet feel bad about himself.
“I’ve moved on,” she said pretentiously, “while you were at Disney World I couldn’t just wait here for you to come back, twiddling my thumbs, working at the pool and watching the View.” In fact, for June, July and half of August, that was precisely what she had done. Then, with Sally’s help, she had asked out the guy with spiky hair and a cool neck chain in the produce section at Bruno’s. Sally asked out his best friend, a video store clerk, and it turned out they were both big into theatre. The next thing they knew they were driving to Toronto and hanging out in all these cool theatre bars and seeing experimental pieces in black box venues.
“Chet, the world of the theatre is a different place. It has comedy, yes, but also heartache,” she explained to him. It felt odd to have Chet, a figure from her past life, take her to Kelsey’s like this. She was used to places like The Green Room now.
Chet thought to himself, ‘I think I know a little something about heartache,’ but didn’t say it out loud, because he didn’t want to act as annoyingly dramatic as Marianne was acting.
“So Sally and I are probably going to join the drama club, and focus on that as our primary extracurricular,” Marianne explained.
“No band?” choked Chet. Marianne played the clarinet and Chet palyed the tuba, and they had often passed notes between songs in previous years. The drama club was a dangerous place, where free expression reigned, and everyone was artistic and had inside jokes. It was a place Chet could not follow Marianne, except maybe as a techie, and even then, he would be invisible.
Marianne lifted Chet’s chin, and looked him straight in the eye. “I will always love you,” she said.
“I don’t think that’s true,” he said.
“Well it is,” she said, annoyed. She finished her salmon, and said, “this was a really good salmon,” pretending that she was totally cool with this whole conversation. Overall, it was a lot harder than she thought it was going to be, but at least she had said what she had come to say. The bill came, and she made sure to pay her half. She didn’t want Chet telling this story to President Michael French later, and finish it by saying, “and the worst part is I had to pay for her stupid salmon!”
Showing posts with label Chet and Marianne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chet and Marianne. Show all posts
Friday, April 3, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
On SHAMROCK
March 13th, 2009
On SHAMROCK
Dear Marianne,
My summer of working at
Today I was working in the Epcot Centre in the World Showcase. I was in the Ireland Pavillion, which is a gift shop that’s stuffed I between the United Kingdom Pavillion and the Canada Pavillion. The Celtic Rock Band, Off Kilter, often plays in front. My favourite thing to sell in the Ireland Pavillion are fake rocks shaped like shamrocks. “Sham rocks”, get it? I sell twenty of these a day, and I don’t know why. I have enclosed one in this letter.
I hope you are having fun with swimming instruction at the pool. If the kids in your class are anything like the kids that come through my gift shop, oh, man! Those are some pretty bratty kids. I hope I never have any kids, but if I do, I want twins, because then they won’t be an only child, but I’ll get everything over with in one go, you know?
We are called ‘cast members’ and are told we have to smile all day, every day, but really it’s not as bad as working at Blockbuster. At least here, we have nice weather. My friend Sherry works at Spaceship Earth, though, and they have long lines and really angry customers. She tells me a lot of stories about jerky customers.
Speaking of Sherry, she and I are really hitting it off. I hope you aren’t jealous, because before I left for
So what’s new with you? I hope things aren’t too boring back in Forest Glen. I can’t believe we’re going into senior year together. I can’t believe Michael French is going to be class president! I wonder if he’ll still have time for us nobodies.
I am learning how to play tennis from a Moroccan guy who works in the
Love
Your friend,
Chet
PS I will be coming home on Flight AC 2343 on September 3rd if you want to come and meet me at the airport. You don’t have to, but I thought I’d give you the info just in case.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
On BIG BIRD
February 25th
On BIG BIRD
Chet, Michael French, Marianne and Sally were eating their lunch together in the cafeteria. They were nostalgizing.
“Remember how everyone used to watch Sesame Street, but no one wanted to admit it to their friends?” Michael French laughed, “That was how we made fun of people, by saying they watched Sesame Street.”
“What was with Big Bird?” said Chet, who then turned serious. “You guys, do you think Snuffleupagus was real or not?” the whole table burst out laughing.
“I had a thousand barbies!” yelled Sally.
“And remember Hot Looks!” squealed Marianne.
And so on. In any situation with a passel of youths, Chet had discovered, the most surefire topic of conversation was always the Toys and TV shows of the past. Chet had cleverly steered the conversation this way by mentioning Tranformers. The reason that the conversation needed steering was because Marianne was about to bring up the fact that Chet and Sue Cantor were Dating. Chet didn’t want to talk about that because a) Chet was worried Marianne would be mad at him, even though she had no right to be because Marianne and Chet weren’t going out, and b) Chet was terrified of Sue Cantor and wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation. He had been avoiding Sue for days. Sue Cantor was new to the school, super tall, and had huge boobs. She had selected Chet within a week of transferring as her new boyfriend, and Chet was too flattered and scared to say no. It was only a matter of time before Sue realized Chet was a nerd, and dumped him. In the meantime, they had gone on no dates, and hung around awkwardly by the portables once. Sue had also made friends with Marisa, an obnoxious girl who had the aura of being from a broken home.
“I was so pissed when Ninja Turtles took the place of Transformers,” declared Chet, “I was like, but they don’t transform!”
“Totally,” Michael French said.
Chet suddenly wished that this moment would last forever. Here he was, three good friends, talking and laughing. They weren’t the most popular kids in school, Michael French especially, but they had carved out their own niche and no one really bothered them. Who knew where the future lay? In another couple years, they would graduate, go to university, and maybe never see each other again.
“Hey guys,” Chet said, suddenly solemn, “Let’s make sure we stay friends forever. No matter what happens, let’s always stay in touch.”
“Yeah!” said Sally.
“Deal!” said Marianne.
All four of them but their hands into the centre of the table, and did a spontaneous weird four-way handshake.
“Team forever!” said Michael French, a bit too loudly.
“Hey Team Forever,” said Sue Cantor, who had appeared out of nowhere, “I gotta talk with Captain Chet here.” Sue had an unnaturally deep voice.
“Hi Team Forever!” chirped Marisa, laying on the sarcasm thickly.
“Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of my friends,” said Chet in a high pitched voice.
“Okay, fine. I’m dumping you,” said Sue.
“You can’t dump him in front of everyone like that!” Marianne said, coming to Chet’s defense.
“Whatever, shut up, you can have him all to yourself now anyway everyone knows you like him,” Marisa said. This was turning into a debacle.
“Remember Thundercats?” said Chet weakly, at the same time that Marianne said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Go back to Greentree you fucking skank!”
And that was how a conversation about Transformers turned into a huge fight, and Sue Cantor ended up with a bloody nose, and Marianne got a black eye. Marisa and Sally got some scratches on their arms. Chet and Michael French decided to stay out of it, because they didn’t want to hit girls. They both agreed later though, that it was pretty cool that chicks were fighting over Chet. Michael French even worked it out somehow that he was a romantic object in the fracas too, which was an imaginative hypothesis, to say the least.
On BIG BIRD
Chet, Michael French, Marianne and Sally were eating their lunch together in the cafeteria. They were nostalgizing.
“Remember how everyone used to watch Sesame Street, but no one wanted to admit it to their friends?” Michael French laughed, “That was how we made fun of people, by saying they watched Sesame Street.”
“What was with Big Bird?” said Chet, who then turned serious. “You guys, do you think Snuffleupagus was real or not?” the whole table burst out laughing.
“I had a thousand barbies!” yelled Sally.
“And remember Hot Looks!” squealed Marianne.
And so on. In any situation with a passel of youths, Chet had discovered, the most surefire topic of conversation was always the Toys and TV shows of the past. Chet had cleverly steered the conversation this way by mentioning Tranformers. The reason that the conversation needed steering was because Marianne was about to bring up the fact that Chet and Sue Cantor were Dating. Chet didn’t want to talk about that because a) Chet was worried Marianne would be mad at him, even though she had no right to be because Marianne and Chet weren’t going out, and b) Chet was terrified of Sue Cantor and wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation. He had been avoiding Sue for days. Sue Cantor was new to the school, super tall, and had huge boobs. She had selected Chet within a week of transferring as her new boyfriend, and Chet was too flattered and scared to say no. It was only a matter of time before Sue realized Chet was a nerd, and dumped him. In the meantime, they had gone on no dates, and hung around awkwardly by the portables once. Sue had also made friends with Marisa, an obnoxious girl who had the aura of being from a broken home.
“I was so pissed when Ninja Turtles took the place of Transformers,” declared Chet, “I was like, but they don’t transform!”
“Totally,” Michael French said.
Chet suddenly wished that this moment would last forever. Here he was, three good friends, talking and laughing. They weren’t the most popular kids in school, Michael French especially, but they had carved out their own niche and no one really bothered them. Who knew where the future lay? In another couple years, they would graduate, go to university, and maybe never see each other again.
“Hey guys,” Chet said, suddenly solemn, “Let’s make sure we stay friends forever. No matter what happens, let’s always stay in touch.”
“Yeah!” said Sally.
“Deal!” said Marianne.
All four of them but their hands into the centre of the table, and did a spontaneous weird four-way handshake.
“Team forever!” said Michael French, a bit too loudly.
“Hey Team Forever,” said Sue Cantor, who had appeared out of nowhere, “I gotta talk with Captain Chet here.” Sue had an unnaturally deep voice.
“Hi Team Forever!” chirped Marisa, laying on the sarcasm thickly.
“Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of my friends,” said Chet in a high pitched voice.
“Okay, fine. I’m dumping you,” said Sue.
“You can’t dump him in front of everyone like that!” Marianne said, coming to Chet’s defense.
“Whatever, shut up, you can have him all to yourself now anyway everyone knows you like him,” Marisa said. This was turning into a debacle.
“Remember Thundercats?” said Chet weakly, at the same time that Marianne said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Go back to Greentree you fucking skank!”
And that was how a conversation about Transformers turned into a huge fight, and Sue Cantor ended up with a bloody nose, and Marianne got a black eye. Marisa and Sally got some scratches on their arms. Chet and Michael French decided to stay out of it, because they didn’t want to hit girls. They both agreed later though, that it was pretty cool that chicks were fighting over Chet. Michael French even worked it out somehow that he was a romantic object in the fracas too, which was an imaginative hypothesis, to say the least.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
On SEALED WITH A KISS
February 13th
On SEALED WITH A KISS
6:35 pm – Sally and Marianne get ready for the 80s video dance by crimping their hair, trying on bangles and drinking gin. Josh is coming by in his older brother’s car (driven by his older brother, Jake) to drive them to the school, with Eric, who has finally agreed to date Marianne after a long campaign. This is going to be the best.
7:03pm – Chet checks out his bouffant hairstyle in the mirror, and pops the collar on his too-tight jean jacket with a Hard rock Café logo on the back. “Fuckin’ right!” he says to his reflection.
7:34pm – Sally calls Josh and asks him where they are. Josh says they haven’t come over yet because girls always take fuckin’ forever to get ready. Sally replies, “How do you fuckin’ know that if you don’t come over!” Josh says, “Are you drunk?”
8:00pm - Chet and Michael French arrive at the school gym where J. Geils Band is playing at a disproportionately large volume considering five people, including our heroes, have shown up already and no one is dancing. Also, Michael French is wearing clunky dark sunglasses with fluorescent coloured arms, and a Michael Jackson red leather jacket. Chet and Michael French are both a little surprised at how good their outfits are.
8:28pm – Sally and Marianne have consumed half a bottle of gin. After her last gulp, Marianne shakes her head wildly and almost lacerates her face with her star-shaped earrings. “Whoo!” She says. They are still waiting for the boys to show up. Sally smokes at the window.
9:13pm – The gym has about a hundred grade nines now, and Chet and Michael French are the life of the party. They are in the middle of a dancing circle and Chet’s jacket is coming off – it’s too hot in this jacket!
9:41pm – Jake and Josh and Eric pull up Sally’s driveway. Marianne and Sally see them from the bedroom window and squeal. They run down to the front door, and then coolly strut to the car. Josh and Eric wolf whistle. Jake says, “Alright, lets go already!”
9:42pm - Josh and Sally make out a little in the car already. Eric and Marianne look uncomfortable. Sensing this, Sally and Josh stop and pretend nothing happened.
9:59pm – Chet and Michael French are cooling off by the punch after some marathon dancing. They talk about how they’re not really good dancers, frankly, but sometimes the spirit of the 80s makes you flail your limbs around in invigorating ways.
10:01pm – After a detour to Jake’s weed dealer, the two couples are dropped off at the gym and enter arm in arm. Eric seems into it enough that it’s not completely embarrassing.
10:14pm – A slow song comes on. High on dancing, Chet confidently swaggers over to Marianne and asks her to dance. He is rebuffed.
10:34pm – Chet and Michael French are standing outside, cooling off. Michael French starts making noise about having to get up early in the morning. Chet yells at him, “Don’t you understand! This night can never end!”
10:43pm – After dancing all the fast dances in a perfect square, and sitting out the slow dances, Josh and Eric and Sally and Marianne sit down at a round table. Sally and Marianne start whispering in each other’s ear and giggling. Josh sees his chance, and takes Sally outside for a smoke on the bleachers. It is understood that they are going to make out. Eric and Marianne, who don’t smoke, are left behind. Marianne realizes she doesn’t even really know who Eric is. “What kind of things do you like?” she asks him, yelling over the music.
11:06pm – Chet and Michael French are offered some beer in the parking lot by some cooler grade nines who thought their dancing was rad. A particularly reflective boy, Reuben, says, “Hey, it’s grade nine man. Everything’s different, you know? That’s what I love about grade nine. And you guys are fuckin’ hilaaaarious!!” and he laughed and slaps Chet on the back, spilling his beer.
11:15pm – Marianne is now tearing up the dance floor, having abandoned Eric on the sidelines. She was a little bit scared of Eric, who had boasted to her, randomly, that he could take off a bra with one hand. She is super drunk.
11:25pm – Marianne is almost passed out, and has her arms slung around Chet’s neck and her head against his chest. It is the final song of the evening.
11:45pm – Michael French says goodbye as he walks down his street. “Good bye! Awesome dance!” yells Chet, and Marianne laughs annoyingly. When Michael French turns out of sight, she plants a kiss on Chet, says “Thanks for the lurvly evening,” and pukes into a snowbank.
12:06am – Marianne, having declared herself feeling better, does not need Chet to bring her into her house. She rings the doorbell for her mom, and Chet runs away, scared. Mrs. Goldstein takes Marianne to bed, with a mixture of concern and knowing bemusement.
3:47am – Chet finally falls asleep. What a great night, he thinks.
On SEALED WITH A KISS
6:35 pm – Sally and Marianne get ready for the 80s video dance by crimping their hair, trying on bangles and drinking gin. Josh is coming by in his older brother’s car (driven by his older brother, Jake) to drive them to the school, with Eric, who has finally agreed to date Marianne after a long campaign. This is going to be the best.
7:03pm – Chet checks out his bouffant hairstyle in the mirror, and pops the collar on his too-tight jean jacket with a Hard rock Café logo on the back. “Fuckin’ right!” he says to his reflection.
7:34pm – Sally calls Josh and asks him where they are. Josh says they haven’t come over yet because girls always take fuckin’ forever to get ready. Sally replies, “How do you fuckin’ know that if you don’t come over!” Josh says, “Are you drunk?”
8:00pm - Chet and Michael French arrive at the school gym where J. Geils Band is playing at a disproportionately large volume considering five people, including our heroes, have shown up already and no one is dancing. Also, Michael French is wearing clunky dark sunglasses with fluorescent coloured arms, and a Michael Jackson red leather jacket. Chet and Michael French are both a little surprised at how good their outfits are.
8:28pm – Sally and Marianne have consumed half a bottle of gin. After her last gulp, Marianne shakes her head wildly and almost lacerates her face with her star-shaped earrings. “Whoo!” She says. They are still waiting for the boys to show up. Sally smokes at the window.
9:13pm – The gym has about a hundred grade nines now, and Chet and Michael French are the life of the party. They are in the middle of a dancing circle and Chet’s jacket is coming off – it’s too hot in this jacket!
9:41pm – Jake and Josh and Eric pull up Sally’s driveway. Marianne and Sally see them from the bedroom window and squeal. They run down to the front door, and then coolly strut to the car. Josh and Eric wolf whistle. Jake says, “Alright, lets go already!”
9:42pm - Josh and Sally make out a little in the car already. Eric and Marianne look uncomfortable. Sensing this, Sally and Josh stop and pretend nothing happened.
9:59pm – Chet and Michael French are cooling off by the punch after some marathon dancing. They talk about how they’re not really good dancers, frankly, but sometimes the spirit of the 80s makes you flail your limbs around in invigorating ways.
10:01pm – After a detour to Jake’s weed dealer, the two couples are dropped off at the gym and enter arm in arm. Eric seems into it enough that it’s not completely embarrassing.
10:14pm – A slow song comes on. High on dancing, Chet confidently swaggers over to Marianne and asks her to dance. He is rebuffed.
10:34pm – Chet and Michael French are standing outside, cooling off. Michael French starts making noise about having to get up early in the morning. Chet yells at him, “Don’t you understand! This night can never end!”
10:43pm – After dancing all the fast dances in a perfect square, and sitting out the slow dances, Josh and Eric and Sally and Marianne sit down at a round table. Sally and Marianne start whispering in each other’s ear and giggling. Josh sees his chance, and takes Sally outside for a smoke on the bleachers. It is understood that they are going to make out. Eric and Marianne, who don’t smoke, are left behind. Marianne realizes she doesn’t even really know who Eric is. “What kind of things do you like?” she asks him, yelling over the music.
11:06pm – Chet and Michael French are offered some beer in the parking lot by some cooler grade nines who thought their dancing was rad. A particularly reflective boy, Reuben, says, “Hey, it’s grade nine man. Everything’s different, you know? That’s what I love about grade nine. And you guys are fuckin’ hilaaaarious!!” and he laughed and slaps Chet on the back, spilling his beer.
11:15pm – Marianne is now tearing up the dance floor, having abandoned Eric on the sidelines. She was a little bit scared of Eric, who had boasted to her, randomly, that he could take off a bra with one hand. She is super drunk.
11:25pm – Marianne is almost passed out, and has her arms slung around Chet’s neck and her head against his chest. It is the final song of the evening.
11:45pm – Michael French says goodbye as he walks down his street. “Good bye! Awesome dance!” yells Chet, and Marianne laughs annoyingly. When Michael French turns out of sight, she plants a kiss on Chet, says “Thanks for the lurvly evening,” and pukes into a snowbank.
12:06am – Marianne, having declared herself feeling better, does not need Chet to bring her into her house. She rings the doorbell for her mom, and Chet runs away, scared. Mrs. Goldstein takes Marianne to bed, with a mixture of concern and knowing bemusement.
3:47am – Chet finally falls asleep. What a great night, he thinks.
On BOUQUET OF ROSES
February 12th
On BOUQUET OF ROSES
Marianne stood outside the flower store, considering. It was Chet’s birthday, and it would be appropriate to get him a present. But flowers? It would appropriately embarrass him, that was for sure. She could imagine his face going red right now. Chet was the best for being embarrassed. But was that what Marianne wanted out of this trip? Would it ruin her social trajectory?
“Come on, Marianne, we’re going to go meet up with Josh and Eric,” Sally said. Sally was pretty popular, and Marianne was pretty lucky to be hanging out with her. Sally was the type of girl that was popular, but not snobby; she went out of her way to take pity and say hi to the unpopular girls in the hallway at school. She smoked, but only socially. When they found out that they were roommates for the Quebec trip, they had miraculously hit it off. Mostly they talked about boys. They could even be described as boy crazy! The whole time they talked about Marty Chan and Fred Garrults, though, Marianne was thinking in the back of her mind that this was the end of her days of crying at night and being afraid to go to school. Sally would be her gateway to social acceptance.
Now they were in their free time period, and were heading down to meet some boys. When Sally suggested this, Marianne acted like this was something she did all the time. But really she was super excited and also wanted to throw up. She didn’t even think about whether she liked Josh or Eric. That was the last thing she had to worry about. What she was worrying about most was what part of this process she would be revealed as a complete fraud.
And what about Chet? Maybe she should try and buy him a new sports hat, or something silly from the dollar store. But a bouquet of roses just seemed right. Yeah, Chet probably liked Marianne. She had seen When Harry Met Sally, and knew the rule about guys not having platonic female friends. So it would say, hey, I’m leaving your social level, but here’s something you’ve always wanted: an expression of my love. No that sounded horrible. And what would it look like if Marianne showed up for their casual rendez-vous with Josh and Eric with a bouquet of flowers?
“Are you thinking of getting flowers?” Sally asked.
“I don’t know,” Marianne replied. “Probably not. Let’s go.”
“Who are you buying flowers for?” Sally said.
“Chet,” Marianne said, and blushed. “It’s his birthday.”
“Oh yeah! Get them!” Sally’s eyes lit up. She had huge eyes.
Marianne’s face scrunched up skeptically. Was Sally trying to torpedo her somehow? What was her game plan?
“Really?” said Marianne.
“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” said Sally, in a sort of spaced out kind of way. “He’d love that! A girl buying a boy flowers? That’s cool!”
“But what about Josh and Eric?” asked Marianne, raising her eyebrows. Even though they had spent several days together, Marianne didn’t really think of Sally as a person until this moment. Maybe she was genuine; maybe she did think it would be cool.
“Fuck them,” swore Sally, “This is better! You can find guys like Josh and Eric anywhere.”
“You can find guys like Chet anywhere,” said Marianne, “Trust me.”
They stood on the street for a little while, Marianne thinking, and Sally waiting to see what she would do. Sally looked at her watch. Then, buoyed by Sally’s encouragement, Marianne went into the store, and bought the bouquet of roses.
On BOUQUET OF ROSES
Marianne stood outside the flower store, considering. It was Chet’s birthday, and it would be appropriate to get him a present. But flowers? It would appropriately embarrass him, that was for sure. She could imagine his face going red right now. Chet was the best for being embarrassed. But was that what Marianne wanted out of this trip? Would it ruin her social trajectory?
“Come on, Marianne, we’re going to go meet up with Josh and Eric,” Sally said. Sally was pretty popular, and Marianne was pretty lucky to be hanging out with her. Sally was the type of girl that was popular, but not snobby; she went out of her way to take pity and say hi to the unpopular girls in the hallway at school. She smoked, but only socially. When they found out that they were roommates for the Quebec trip, they had miraculously hit it off. Mostly they talked about boys. They could even be described as boy crazy! The whole time they talked about Marty Chan and Fred Garrults, though, Marianne was thinking in the back of her mind that this was the end of her days of crying at night and being afraid to go to school. Sally would be her gateway to social acceptance.
Now they were in their free time period, and were heading down to meet some boys. When Sally suggested this, Marianne acted like this was something she did all the time. But really she was super excited and also wanted to throw up. She didn’t even think about whether she liked Josh or Eric. That was the last thing she had to worry about. What she was worrying about most was what part of this process she would be revealed as a complete fraud.
And what about Chet? Maybe she should try and buy him a new sports hat, or something silly from the dollar store. But a bouquet of roses just seemed right. Yeah, Chet probably liked Marianne. She had seen When Harry Met Sally, and knew the rule about guys not having platonic female friends. So it would say, hey, I’m leaving your social level, but here’s something you’ve always wanted: an expression of my love. No that sounded horrible. And what would it look like if Marianne showed up for their casual rendez-vous with Josh and Eric with a bouquet of flowers?
“Are you thinking of getting flowers?” Sally asked.
“I don’t know,” Marianne replied. “Probably not. Let’s go.”
“Who are you buying flowers for?” Sally said.
“Chet,” Marianne said, and blushed. “It’s his birthday.”
“Oh yeah! Get them!” Sally’s eyes lit up. She had huge eyes.
Marianne’s face scrunched up skeptically. Was Sally trying to torpedo her somehow? What was her game plan?
“Really?” said Marianne.
“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” said Sally, in a sort of spaced out kind of way. “He’d love that! A girl buying a boy flowers? That’s cool!”
“But what about Josh and Eric?” asked Marianne, raising her eyebrows. Even though they had spent several days together, Marianne didn’t really think of Sally as a person until this moment. Maybe she was genuine; maybe she did think it would be cool.
“Fuck them,” swore Sally, “This is better! You can find guys like Josh and Eric anywhere.”
“You can find guys like Chet anywhere,” said Marianne, “Trust me.”
They stood on the street for a little while, Marianne thinking, and Sally waiting to see what she would do. Sally looked at her watch. Then, buoyed by Sally’s encouragement, Marianne went into the store, and bought the bouquet of roses.
On BOX OF CHOCOLATES
February 11, 2009
On BOX OF CHOCOLATES
It was on his fourteenth birthday that Chet found himself in a Quebec City chocolatier store, by himself, looking over rows and rows of different chocolates. He was wearing a Washington Capitals cap and a Vancouver Canucks hockey jersey, and baggy jeans. Perched on his cap were sunglasses he had just bought that, when he put them on, made him look like a bug.
Chet was confused. He liked chocolate, a lot, but he knew mostly about Mr. Bigs, and Glosette Raisins, and Kinder Eggs, and Mars Bars. He was looking at truffles, lots of different kinds of expensive truffles. If it was up to him, Chet would have bought the cheapest kind of chocolate in the store, and save his money for other purchases. But Chet wasn’t buying chocolates for himself. He was buying chocolates for Marianne Goldstein.
Marianne and Chet were both on their class’s grade eight trip to Quebec, a rite of passage for all graduates of Greenmeadow Junior High School. The class of 54 students was staying in a tastefully appointed Best Western on the Rue de la Couronne, and Chet was staying with some boys on the top floor, and Marianne with a bunch of girls on the bottom floor. On the first night, Chet, and Michael French, another unpopular boy, found out they were staying in a room with two double beds along with Allan and Derek Brock, twin boys who were very popular. Allan and Derek had immediately claimed a double bed each for themselves and their slutty girlfriends, and they had all recently started smoking. The room reeked of cigarette smoke and sexuality, so Michael and Chet hung out in the lobby most of the time. Michael and Chet had decided to use their free time to go shopping today, and after listening to a few too many World of Warcraft stories, Chet decided to ditch Michael for a short time and get something for Marianne, who had been avoiding him the entire trip.
Even though Marianne had been avoiding him, probably in a last ditch attempt to rehabilitate her image with the popular girls, Chet had a feeling that Marianne would remember his birthday and embarrass him with a present. So Chet decided to act pre-emptively and embarrass her with a present that might be interpreted as a romantic gesture. He had planned on just grabbing a box of chocolates, and didn’t really realize how many options he would have. He thought back to one of the random pretentious comments Marianne had said this year: “Mmmm…. If I’m going to have chocolate, I have to have truffles. Everything else tastes like shit to me.”
Chet threw up a little in his mouth. Marianne had changed this year, and started wearing weird, colourful, attention-grabbing outfits, and making weird statements about truffles, cars, jewelry, and God knew what else. It was like she had started taking advice from a crazy person, or got a subscribtion to Shallow Teen Magazine. It didn’t seem to do her any good socially either, having created mostly confusion.
Chet took a deep breath, bought a box of truffles with a blue ribbon on it, and walked out of the store.
On BOX OF CHOCOLATES
It was on his fourteenth birthday that Chet found himself in a Quebec City chocolatier store, by himself, looking over rows and rows of different chocolates. He was wearing a Washington Capitals cap and a Vancouver Canucks hockey jersey, and baggy jeans. Perched on his cap were sunglasses he had just bought that, when he put them on, made him look like a bug.
Chet was confused. He liked chocolate, a lot, but he knew mostly about Mr. Bigs, and Glosette Raisins, and Kinder Eggs, and Mars Bars. He was looking at truffles, lots of different kinds of expensive truffles. If it was up to him, Chet would have bought the cheapest kind of chocolate in the store, and save his money for other purchases. But Chet wasn’t buying chocolates for himself. He was buying chocolates for Marianne Goldstein.
Marianne and Chet were both on their class’s grade eight trip to Quebec, a rite of passage for all graduates of Greenmeadow Junior High School. The class of 54 students was staying in a tastefully appointed Best Western on the Rue de la Couronne, and Chet was staying with some boys on the top floor, and Marianne with a bunch of girls on the bottom floor. On the first night, Chet, and Michael French, another unpopular boy, found out they were staying in a room with two double beds along with Allan and Derek Brock, twin boys who were very popular. Allan and Derek had immediately claimed a double bed each for themselves and their slutty girlfriends, and they had all recently started smoking. The room reeked of cigarette smoke and sexuality, so Michael and Chet hung out in the lobby most of the time. Michael and Chet had decided to use their free time to go shopping today, and after listening to a few too many World of Warcraft stories, Chet decided to ditch Michael for a short time and get something for Marianne, who had been avoiding him the entire trip.
Even though Marianne had been avoiding him, probably in a last ditch attempt to rehabilitate her image with the popular girls, Chet had a feeling that Marianne would remember his birthday and embarrass him with a present. So Chet decided to act pre-emptively and embarrass her with a present that might be interpreted as a romantic gesture. He had planned on just grabbing a box of chocolates, and didn’t really realize how many options he would have. He thought back to one of the random pretentious comments Marianne had said this year: “Mmmm…. If I’m going to have chocolate, I have to have truffles. Everything else tastes like shit to me.”
Chet threw up a little in his mouth. Marianne had changed this year, and started wearing weird, colourful, attention-grabbing outfits, and making weird statements about truffles, cars, jewelry, and God knew what else. It was like she had started taking advice from a crazy person, or got a subscribtion to Shallow Teen Magazine. It didn’t seem to do her any good socially either, having created mostly confusion.
Chet took a deep breath, bought a box of truffles with a blue ribbon on it, and walked out of the store.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
On FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
February 4th
On FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
Chet was a little bit embarrassed to be over at Marianne Goldstein's house. He had a bunch of acne, for one thing, which was something he didn't think about too much except when he was at a girl's house. Of course, since the beginning of Grade Seven, Marianne had braces, so they were sort of in the same boat. Marianne and Chet had become sort-of friends lately, mostly united in a new found sense of sarcasm. They had both become outsiders this year, commenting snarkily on the soap-operatic goings on of the more popular kids in their school.
In that ironical vein, Marianne had invited Chet over to watch a marathon of Christmas specials, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 styles, anticipating many sarcastic jokes at the expense of Frosty the Snowman, Charlie Brown, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (who, really, had it bad enough already). So far, Frosty the Snowman hadn't really had his feelings hurt. Marianne and Chet had launched a volley of insults in the first twenty minutes, from "Yeah right, like that would ever happen," when Frosty magically came to life, to "Nice Hat!", offered four separate times by Chet. After a while they both seemed to realize they were trying a little too hard, and for a while didn't say anything at all. This was especially weird, as it became apparent that they were now watching Frosty the Snowman on its own merits.
Marianne's basement had been redone in the late eighties, and had hundreds of knicknacks and pictures of the Goldstein family in different vacation spots, often in costume. The focus of the room was an L-shaped brown couch that Marianne was lounging on in her pyjamas, which she declared to be 'the most comfortable couch in the world'. Chet was relaxing, at a comfortable distance, in a lime green armchair.
Right about the time when the policeman hollered 'Stop!', Mrs. Goldstein entered the basement and announced that she was driving Marianne's younger sister to karate practice. For some reason Chet felt like he had to justify his presence there. Mrs. Goldstein had not been around when Marianne had taken him down to the basement via the side door.
"Hi, Mrs. Goldstein," said Chet, attempting to sound cheerful and carefree.
"Hello Chet," smiled Mrs. Goldstein. Chet wasn't sure if Mrs. Goldstein thought this was a romantic date or not. As dates went, it was pretty lame, but all the same you can never tell, when a girl and a boy were in the same place at the same time, alone together. Chet thought about announcing the lack of romantic intention in this encounter, but correctly surmised that that would have brought the awkwardness of the situation right out into the open.
Mrs. Goldstein left, and it occurred to Chet that he and Marianne were now truly alone. It hit him with an intense panic that if he wanted to do anything of a romantic nature, now was the time to do it. Worse, if Marianne was expecting him to do anything of a romantic nature, if there was any ulterior motive whatsoever in her invitation, no was the time she would be expecting him to make some kind of move. He wasn't even sure himself of he was interested in that sort of thing with Marianne. If so, what would he do?
Chet looked over at Marianne, who was curled up with her bum facing him, watching the screen intently with a look of bored interest on her face. She was wearing her glasses, which she never did in school. She was comfortable. Chet could even see her pink undies creeping up over the top of her pyjama pants. Never would she be so bold if she wasn't completely secure in the idea that he was completely harmless. Chet decided to do nothing.
"The long arm of the law," Chet proclaimed, sort of sarcastically, referring to the policeman who was stopping Frosty's march. "The long arm of the law."
On FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
Chet was a little bit embarrassed to be over at Marianne Goldstein's house. He had a bunch of acne, for one thing, which was something he didn't think about too much except when he was at a girl's house. Of course, since the beginning of Grade Seven, Marianne had braces, so they were sort of in the same boat. Marianne and Chet had become sort-of friends lately, mostly united in a new found sense of sarcasm. They had both become outsiders this year, commenting snarkily on the soap-operatic goings on of the more popular kids in their school.
In that ironical vein, Marianne had invited Chet over to watch a marathon of Christmas specials, Mystery Science Theatre 3000 styles, anticipating many sarcastic jokes at the expense of Frosty the Snowman, Charlie Brown, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (who, really, had it bad enough already). So far, Frosty the Snowman hadn't really had his feelings hurt. Marianne and Chet had launched a volley of insults in the first twenty minutes, from "Yeah right, like that would ever happen," when Frosty magically came to life, to "Nice Hat!", offered four separate times by Chet. After a while they both seemed to realize they were trying a little too hard, and for a while didn't say anything at all. This was especially weird, as it became apparent that they were now watching Frosty the Snowman on its own merits.
Marianne's basement had been redone in the late eighties, and had hundreds of knicknacks and pictures of the Goldstein family in different vacation spots, often in costume. The focus of the room was an L-shaped brown couch that Marianne was lounging on in her pyjamas, which she declared to be 'the most comfortable couch in the world'. Chet was relaxing, at a comfortable distance, in a lime green armchair.
Right about the time when the policeman hollered 'Stop!', Mrs. Goldstein entered the basement and announced that she was driving Marianne's younger sister to karate practice. For some reason Chet felt like he had to justify his presence there. Mrs. Goldstein had not been around when Marianne had taken him down to the basement via the side door.
"Hi, Mrs. Goldstein," said Chet, attempting to sound cheerful and carefree.
"Hello Chet," smiled Mrs. Goldstein. Chet wasn't sure if Mrs. Goldstein thought this was a romantic date or not. As dates went, it was pretty lame, but all the same you can never tell, when a girl and a boy were in the same place at the same time, alone together. Chet thought about announcing the lack of romantic intention in this encounter, but correctly surmised that that would have brought the awkwardness of the situation right out into the open.
Mrs. Goldstein left, and it occurred to Chet that he and Marianne were now truly alone. It hit him with an intense panic that if he wanted to do anything of a romantic nature, now was the time to do it. Worse, if Marianne was expecting him to do anything of a romantic nature, if there was any ulterior motive whatsoever in her invitation, no was the time she would be expecting him to make some kind of move. He wasn't even sure himself of he was interested in that sort of thing with Marianne. If so, what would he do?
Chet looked over at Marianne, who was curled up with her bum facing him, watching the screen intently with a look of bored interest on her face. She was wearing her glasses, which she never did in school. She was comfortable. Chet could even see her pink undies creeping up over the top of her pyjama pants. Never would she be so bold if she wasn't completely secure in the idea that he was completely harmless. Chet decided to do nothing.
"The long arm of the law," Chet proclaimed, sort of sarcastically, referring to the policeman who was stopping Frosty's march. "The long arm of the law."
Monday, March 9, 2009
On ANNIVERSARY
February 3rd
On ANNIVERSARY
Chet opened his locker with some difficulty. He still hadn't gotten used to these combination locks, and even though he thought it was great to have a locker, he could never remember how many rotations and in what direction he was supposed to dial his standard lock, even though it was October already. On his fourth try, after looking around self-consciously, he finally hit upon the right combination and opened his locker. On the inside was a picture from the Toronto Star of the Toronto Maple Leafs losing their first game of the season to the New York Islanders. In the yellowing photo, a hapless Maple Leaf was in mid-pratfall, and Chet had scotch-taped the score of the game (Isles 3, Leafs 1) diagonally over the corner of the photo. Originally, Chet's plan was to tape the photo and score of every Leafs game as the season went on, but after the first game he kind of forgot, so his locker accidentally became a shrine to that season-opening ignominious loss.
Chet was considering whether to abandon the project when Marianne Goldstein approached. His face went a little red, and his breathing a little more controlled.
"Hey Chet, do you know what day it is today?" Marianne asked.
"No, what day is it?" said Chet.
"It's our anniversary," said Marianne.
Chet blushed, and was confused. He didn't know quite what Marianne was talking about, but he did remember that it was around this time last year that Marianne had decided to make Chet into some kind of project. She would come to his locker every day and talk about other girls in their class that she hated. He had gotten the sense that she was sort of interested in him, but instead of expressing it directly, she would eliminate the prospects of other girls through slander, leaving herself alone as the only one worthy of any attention.
"I don't know what you mean," said Chet weakly.
"Yeah, I think you do," Marianne said mysteriously. Marianne had been one of the more popular girls in Grade Five, and wasn't bad looking, with her long blonde hair, dimpled cheeks and slim figure. But Grade Six, with its move to a new school and a reshuffling of the social order, had not been kind to Marianne's social status. Puberty had thrown all sorts of different factors into the mix, and Marianne was now short and flat-chested compared to a lot of the other girls. She had fallen way behind, and still wore last year's fashions too. Chet had never been popular by any stretch of the imagination, but when you had few prospects, as Chet had, you ironically got unrealistically high standards. He was conflicted between being completely desperate for female attention, and having developed detailed opinions on what made a Grade Six girl hot, and Marianne didn't qualify.
"Remember," continued Marianne, "when you said I was your girlfriend?"
"That was just to get those Grade Threes to stop bothering me at recess," rebuffed Chet. The origins of the incident were murky, but it was true that he told a gaggle of Third Graders that he and Marianne were going out, in response to a deluge of taunting.
"Anyway," he explained, "You told everyone afterwards that we weren't."
"That was just damage control," said Marianne.
"Well we never went on any dates," Chet said. "People who are boyfriend and girlfriend go on dates." The longer this conversation continued, the more uncomfortable Chet got. It wasn't like Marianne was asking him out, and he could think about it and say yes or no, he had to re-evaluate what had happened last year, and it really sounded like he didn't want to be dating anyone, which may not be the case. Why was she even bringing this up now? Why had she kept track? What was the game here? Was she making fun of him?
"Well, whatever," she said, "Here's this heart I made, you, I don't know why, I guess you don't want it. Good day." And then she left, walking down the hallway in her crocs. Chet looked at the heart - pretty simple, it said "Happy Anniversary Chet" in black marker on a red construction paper heart, with no embellishments, as if to make sure it communicated nothing more or less than what it said. He placed it on the top shelf of his locker, closed and locked it, re-opened it, grabbed his math text, re-closed and locked his locker, and walked to class.
On ANNIVERSARY
Chet opened his locker with some difficulty. He still hadn't gotten used to these combination locks, and even though he thought it was great to have a locker, he could never remember how many rotations and in what direction he was supposed to dial his standard lock, even though it was October already. On his fourth try, after looking around self-consciously, he finally hit upon the right combination and opened his locker. On the inside was a picture from the Toronto Star of the Toronto Maple Leafs losing their first game of the season to the New York Islanders. In the yellowing photo, a hapless Maple Leaf was in mid-pratfall, and Chet had scotch-taped the score of the game (Isles 3, Leafs 1) diagonally over the corner of the photo. Originally, Chet's plan was to tape the photo and score of every Leafs game as the season went on, but after the first game he kind of forgot, so his locker accidentally became a shrine to that season-opening ignominious loss.
Chet was considering whether to abandon the project when Marianne Goldstein approached. His face went a little red, and his breathing a little more controlled.
"Hey Chet, do you know what day it is today?" Marianne asked.
"No, what day is it?" said Chet.
"It's our anniversary," said Marianne.
Chet blushed, and was confused. He didn't know quite what Marianne was talking about, but he did remember that it was around this time last year that Marianne had decided to make Chet into some kind of project. She would come to his locker every day and talk about other girls in their class that she hated. He had gotten the sense that she was sort of interested in him, but instead of expressing it directly, she would eliminate the prospects of other girls through slander, leaving herself alone as the only one worthy of any attention.
"I don't know what you mean," said Chet weakly.
"Yeah, I think you do," Marianne said mysteriously. Marianne had been one of the more popular girls in Grade Five, and wasn't bad looking, with her long blonde hair, dimpled cheeks and slim figure. But Grade Six, with its move to a new school and a reshuffling of the social order, had not been kind to Marianne's social status. Puberty had thrown all sorts of different factors into the mix, and Marianne was now short and flat-chested compared to a lot of the other girls. She had fallen way behind, and still wore last year's fashions too. Chet had never been popular by any stretch of the imagination, but when you had few prospects, as Chet had, you ironically got unrealistically high standards. He was conflicted between being completely desperate for female attention, and having developed detailed opinions on what made a Grade Six girl hot, and Marianne didn't qualify.
"Remember," continued Marianne, "when you said I was your girlfriend?"
"That was just to get those Grade Threes to stop bothering me at recess," rebuffed Chet. The origins of the incident were murky, but it was true that he told a gaggle of Third Graders that he and Marianne were going out, in response to a deluge of taunting.
"Anyway," he explained, "You told everyone afterwards that we weren't."
"That was just damage control," said Marianne.
"Well we never went on any dates," Chet said. "People who are boyfriend and girlfriend go on dates." The longer this conversation continued, the more uncomfortable Chet got. It wasn't like Marianne was asking him out, and he could think about it and say yes or no, he had to re-evaluate what had happened last year, and it really sounded like he didn't want to be dating anyone, which may not be the case. Why was she even bringing this up now? Why had she kept track? What was the game here? Was she making fun of him?
"Well, whatever," she said, "Here's this heart I made, you, I don't know why, I guess you don't want it. Good day." And then she left, walking down the hallway in her crocs. Chet looked at the heart - pretty simple, it said "Happy Anniversary Chet" in black marker on a red construction paper heart, with no embellishments, as if to make sure it communicated nothing more or less than what it said. He placed it on the top shelf of his locker, closed and locked it, re-opened it, grabbed his math text, re-closed and locked his locker, and walked to class.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
