February 28th
On CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP
Chicken Noodle Soup – Nickelodeon, 7am, Saturdays
Chicken Noodle Soup follows the madcap, wacky adventures of Chicken, an appropriately named six foot tall chicken, and Noodle, his rodent companion.
April 4th Episode 2X04
In this episode, Chicken learns to use the letter S while building a soapbox derby racing car with Noodle, who is disqualified from the race for being a rat. Chicken goes on to win the competition by himself, an attempt to erase all evidence that Noodle existed, trying to claim credit for himself for all posterity.
April 11th Episode 2X05
In this episode, Noodle haunts Chicken’s dreams in return for betraying him in last week’s soapbox derby adventure. No matter how many times Chicken kills Noodle with a shotgun in his dream, Noodle keeps coming back night after night. Finally, one day, Chicken wakes up to find he’s eaten his pillow, and his cat Tabitha is a bloody mess in the kitchen, run through with shot. Also, Chicken learns about the letter L.
April 18th Episode 2X06
Chicken travels to Noodle’s hometown, Ratsburg, in attempt to reconnect with his old buddy and learn about the letter R and the number 1666.
April 25th Episode 2X07
Chicken is bedridden with the bubonic plague. He has feverish dreams where Noodle, Tabitha and the letter Q visit him and torment him with guilt.
May 2nd Episode 2X08
Noodle re-emerges from hiding in shame to find a post-apocolyptic wasteland where everyone except the rats and cockroaches has passed away as a result of the bubonic plague combined with smallpox. He discovers that he has the ability to see ghosts when he encounters Chicken, but cannot stab him. Also, the letter Z has enslaved the people of earth.
May 9th Episode 2X09
12,000 years in the future the ghosts of Chicken and Noodle, having reconciled their differences, observe a society of half-rat half-cockroach people, who, on the service, seem happy serving their letter-of-the-alphabet overlords. But are they?
May 16th Episode 2X10
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May 23rd Episode 2X11
After a fifteen year period where the letters of the alphabet are destroyed, the rat-cockroach revolution reaches its Thermidorian period. Letters are reintroduced into society on a temporary basis. Meanwhile, Chicken and Noodle make another soapbox derby racer.
May 30th Episode 2X12
Chicken wakes up and discovers it was all a dream! Noodle wakes up and realizes that Chicken is dreaming when he dreamed that it was all a dream, and wakes Chicken up. They continue to live as ghosts in a post-apocalyptic future.
June 6th Episode 2X13
In an episode-long homage to Dante’s Divine Comedy, Chicken and Noodle are led by the ghost of Grover from Sesame Street through Hell, Purgatory and finally into heaven, where they meet God.
June 13th Episode 2X14
God sends Chicken and Noodle to destroy the Wicked Witch of the West.
June 20th Episode 2X15
In a two-hour season finale, Chicken and Noodle are suspended in a bizarre world between worlds where they can only communicate to each other through blinking. After many silly attempts to communicate, they finally settle on a blink-language of their own invention, and discover the true meaning of friendship.
Showing posts with label apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apocalypse. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
On HYBRID CAR
February 24th
On HYBRID CAR
This is an urgent bulletin. Los Angeles has just been ravaged by a marauding group of Hybrid Cars. Half man, half car, all menace, these robocars are like Robocop but have no sense of responsibility. Already 57 old ladies have been run down. On observer described a hybrid car as having a normal human body but with a full sized car for a head. He said he was surprised the hybrid’s neck did not break under the pressure of holding up its car head.
“I was running away from the fire, and there she was. I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me, a lady with a car for a head. That’s what we get for going too green too soon, I guess.”
-
We are on day 3 of the hybrid car story. The hybrid cars have spread out in waves from Los Angeles, their stronghold, and are now attempting to make it over the Mexican border into Tijuana. One particularly dangerous variety is a bus that has a hundred human legs, like a centipede. Few have lived to describe it. President Obama is developing new methods to counter the hybrid car insurgency, after the first efforts to bomb the shit out of them was prevented by their powerful grills, which kind of look like mouths.
-
In Day 37 of the Hybrid Car Crisis, the hybrid cars have taken over 23 of the 50 American states, and all of Mexico and Central America down to the Panama Canal. The hybrid cars have elected their own government, after an election last Tuesday where the Green party won an overwhelming victory.
-
In a tragic development, bands of non-hybrids (as normal humans are now called) have been foolishly wandering into hybrid territory, hoping to join what has been described by the hybrids’ press releases as a utopian society. While no non-hybrids have been able to witness this new and supposedly better society, the few survivors of these bands of optimists have described horrifying, bloody, massacres, typified by deafening horn honking and corpses with cartoon-like tire tread marks all over their bodies.
-
This will be my final broadcast. 154 days after the start of the Hybrid Care Crisis, the rolling thunder of horrifying man-cars has reached the broadcast studio where I have resided for the past month. As I speak, I can hear the vroom vroom vrooming of the monstrosities, and the bang bang bang of busipedes knocking down our doors like a battering ram. There are fires everywhere, as far as the eye can see. I have already seen my wife and children turned into horrifying grotesqueries, parodies of their former selves. Yes, if anyone listening does not know the terrible secret, it is this: the enemy is us. All humans that survive the car-men’s initial attacks have been transformed, borg-like, into hybrid cars themselves. But I will die before they turn my beautiful, rugged face into a rusty metal grill. Before they turn my masculine, fluid, deep voice into a wailing horn, I will sacrifice my life. It has been an honor to serve you. I am Bob Renfro. Good night.
On HYBRID CAR
This is an urgent bulletin. Los Angeles has just been ravaged by a marauding group of Hybrid Cars. Half man, half car, all menace, these robocars are like Robocop but have no sense of responsibility. Already 57 old ladies have been run down. On observer described a hybrid car as having a normal human body but with a full sized car for a head. He said he was surprised the hybrid’s neck did not break under the pressure of holding up its car head.
“I was running away from the fire, and there she was. I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me, a lady with a car for a head. That’s what we get for going too green too soon, I guess.”
-
We are on day 3 of the hybrid car story. The hybrid cars have spread out in waves from Los Angeles, their stronghold, and are now attempting to make it over the Mexican border into Tijuana. One particularly dangerous variety is a bus that has a hundred human legs, like a centipede. Few have lived to describe it. President Obama is developing new methods to counter the hybrid car insurgency, after the first efforts to bomb the shit out of them was prevented by their powerful grills, which kind of look like mouths.
-
In Day 37 of the Hybrid Car Crisis, the hybrid cars have taken over 23 of the 50 American states, and all of Mexico and Central America down to the Panama Canal. The hybrid cars have elected their own government, after an election last Tuesday where the Green party won an overwhelming victory.
-
In a tragic development, bands of non-hybrids (as normal humans are now called) have been foolishly wandering into hybrid territory, hoping to join what has been described by the hybrids’ press releases as a utopian society. While no non-hybrids have been able to witness this new and supposedly better society, the few survivors of these bands of optimists have described horrifying, bloody, massacres, typified by deafening horn honking and corpses with cartoon-like tire tread marks all over their bodies.
-
This will be my final broadcast. 154 days after the start of the Hybrid Care Crisis, the rolling thunder of horrifying man-cars has reached the broadcast studio where I have resided for the past month. As I speak, I can hear the vroom vroom vrooming of the monstrosities, and the bang bang bang of busipedes knocking down our doors like a battering ram. There are fires everywhere, as far as the eye can see. I have already seen my wife and children turned into horrifying grotesqueries, parodies of their former selves. Yes, if anyone listening does not know the terrible secret, it is this: the enemy is us. All humans that survive the car-men’s initial attacks have been transformed, borg-like, into hybrid cars themselves. But I will die before they turn my beautiful, rugged face into a rusty metal grill. Before they turn my masculine, fluid, deep voice into a wailing horn, I will sacrifice my life. It has been an honor to serve you. I am Bob Renfro. Good night.
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